| The characters of “Combat!” are the property of ABC. No profit is made. Copyright 2003 by Mel. This is a short vignette from “The Long Way Home”, in Doc’s POV. Mask of Courage Kirby is scared. Truly scared. Not that I can blame him. We’re sitting here, digging a grave with our sticks and our bare hands, while Caje is in that house. Caje and Gates. And I can’t do anything for either of them. I hope they don’t kill Caje. I don’t think Sarge could take it, if they did. I can feel the fear. See it in the faces. Hear it in the desperation of Kirby’s voice. We’re all gonna be tortured. Every last one of us. Gates was just the beginning. Captain Steiner started with the weakest, probably hoping it would make the biggest impact. He obviously underestimated Sgt. Saunders. So has Ackers. They’re all arguing about whether to try another escape. I don’t understand why they can’t see that it has to be done. If we can find a way, we have to. One’s dead, Gates might as well be and Caje could be next. They’ll pick us off one by one if we don’t get out of here. I hope Billy got away. I hate this helpless feeling. Gates and Caje up in that house, suffering who knows what…and there’s not a damn thing I can do to help them. And there’s nothing I can say to reassure Kirby, either. It seems pretty hopeless to me, too. We just have to hope Billy managed to get away and that he’ll find his way back our lines. Time is our enemy now. Ackers and his men don’t have time, though. Steiner already said they didn’t have a use for them anymore. If they’re to be saved, we have to escape. And soon. Only Sarge seems to understand that. The look on Kirby’s face makes my blood run cold, and I turn to see what he’s looking at. The German guards are pushing Caje back through the gates. Alive! A nasty looking cut on his face, but alive. They bring him close to where I’m kneeling, but Caje won’t look me in the eye. I wonder what he went through in there. No. No, no, no. They’re pointing their rifles at me. I can’t understand a word they’re saying, but their meaning is pretty clear. I’m next. Kirby looks more terrified than ever. I see his fear reflected in the other faces. Except for Sarge. He looks more guilty than scared. I can already tell what he’s thinking. If he hadn’t used me in his ploy to keep Steiner occupied, maybe he wouldn’t have brought me to their attention. Not that it matters. The Germans are poking at me, telling me to get up. One last look at Kirby, and I know what I have to do. I’m scared as hell, but I can’t let Kirby see it. I can’t let Sarge or the others know that my insides are turning to liquid, I’m so scared. So, I get up and, with one last look at Caje, follow the guards out through the gate and up the hill. I wish that guy would stop shoving me. I’m not resisting them. I know what I have to do. Whatever happens in that house, I can’t show any fear. But I’m so afraid. I don’t think I’ve been this frightened since my first battle. My feet feel like they’re made of lead as I walk up the stairs to the door, and I want nothing more than to turn and run. My heart is beating a mile a minute. I’m surprised they can’t hear it. Steiner points to the chair in front of his desk. As I sit down, clasping my hands in my lap, I can’t help but wonder what ran through Caje’s mind as he sat in this chair. I don’t think I’ve ever been this scared. Question after question, but I don’t say a word. I can tell he’s getting frustrated, but I still keep quiet. Steiner stands behind me, out of sight. I can’t tell if he’s even still looking at me. What is he waiting for? Will I end up like Gates, tied beaten and helpless to a bed? Have I ever been this terrified? For some reason, the craziest memory jumps to mind. I was just a kid and it was Halloween. Some kids scared the bejeezus out of me and I smashed my head into the piano. Thought I was going to bleed to death right there and then. Of course, I didn’t. Maybe that memory isn’t so crazy after all. After you’ve known for sure you’re about to die, and you don’t…nothing is ever quite that frightening again. You know you’ll get past the fear. So what’s there to be afraid of? The thud of Steiner’s riding crop on my shoulder startles me out of thought and I turn my head a little in his direction. He’s telling me that as a Corpsman, I know about pain. What a stupid thing to say. As a human being, I know about pain. And, suddenly, I’m not nearly as scared as before. I tell him the story of that Halloween. He doesn’t seem to get it, so I tell him that the point is…you can only get so scared, that rattling his mask won’t do it. In other words, scared is scared. No matter what he did, it wouldn’t make me any more frightened than I already am. He has such a look of anger on his face that I begin to doubt that theory. Maybe he’ll see that my courage is only a mask. But, no. It seems to have worked. He stares at me for a brief moment, then gestures for the guards who pull me from the chair. I’m a bit surprised, but willingly go with them. Of course, they have to push and shove me all the way down the hill and through the gates. Pushing and shoving, I can stand. The gate rattles behind me as they lock it. The others are looking at me, questions in their eyes, but I just stand there a moment. I feel like throwing up, but I can’t let them see it. Because one of them is next. I know it and they know it. If I act as if it was no big deal, maybe it’ll make it easier on the next guy. Swallowing my fear, I rejoin the others and kneel once more in the dirt. We still have a grave to dig. I hope it’s our last. END Feedback |